Question by medleystacy: Is this forgivable or a deal breaker?
Getting married in a month. In 7 years never showed any sign of abuse, he’s not the jealous type, I’m not afraid of him, none of the typical signs of someone becoming an abuser, but we got in a fight last night (I will admit I started it and was being a real b&^%) and he was trying to get me to look at a picture and answer a question and I wouldn’t answer just keep yelling at him and his friend to take the lite cigar outside. He ended up grabbing my head and pulling it downwards towards the picture. Not enough to be throwing me into something, but enough to disrespect me (in other words, did what you would do to a cat or dog). I was pissed and told him to get the ____ out of my face. We pretty much didn’t talk the rest of the evening.

Finally he took his friend that was over home and when he got back, I tried to talk to him and apologize for starting the fight, but that I did not appreciated being man handled and would not tolerate it happening again. He got all mad and tried to turn it around on me about never getting it and not stopping and just egging it on. (In my opinion, it doesn’t matter what the reason walk away…never hit, push, etc a woman!!!). I ignored him and went into the bathroom crying, trying to figure out if I needed to pack my things and leave. He finally came in and hugged me and said he was sorry for man handling me. I was still upset and hurt that he still hasn’t admitted how “wrong” it was and that it would not happen again so we started bickering again.

We finally just agreed we both said sorry and dropped it, but even the next day I still can’t let it go. I don’t know if it’s the PMS sensitivity thing or if I’m really that bothered by it. There are no other signs of an abuser and he said he was sorry, but I’m just not sure I can let it go enough to forgive him. I know that if it happens again I would not stay no matter what.. married, kids, doesn’t matter I would leave, but can’t seem to let it go enough to a point to move on from this. It just seems like he doesn’t respect me enough to really accept what he did as unacceptable. I want to tell his friends so they will go off on him about it, but I also don’t want to stir the s&^& pot if there is not need.

Should I forgive and if it happens again leave, or should I just leave. It’s hard because it’s not like he hit me or did anything extreme, but I can’t help but feel soooo disrespected I’m finding it hard to even forgive enough to get past that point.

Opinions? Advice? Your experiences?

Thank you so much!!!!!

Best answer:

Answer by david
avoid marriage to this guy.

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