This would be the third post, because the categories are so poorly done that I can never find any of the answers I want, because for some reason what I consider culture isn’t, and what I consider health, isn’t. So oh well. I reluctantly post this in this section, because I don’t drink, and probably never well (hopefully), but it seems this is the best section for a question like this, so here’s hoping.

Hello everyone,

I have a serious issue (requires a bit of reading), but for you to understand the issue as well as I hope, I’ll need to clarify what the particulars in regards to this situation are, and so I will.

First off, for my entire life I’ve been firmly against smoking, due to my father nearly dying from a heart attack due to smoking when I was very young, and my grandfather smoking all the time and dying of emphysema , and also the fact that about 90% of my relatives are dead now due to confirmed death from lung cancer, heart cancer, and smoke accumulation.

This also means I became what most would consider an “anti-smoking Nazi” and truthfully I was as such, even had my fair share of converting others into non smokers of a variety of types. However I always knew the facts about smoking, due to personal and very excessive research, that happens to be a trait of mine.

Now, my entire educational life, until I hit college, was filled with people doing all sorts of illegal and bad things around or towards me, and so I was able to ignore these, and successfully prevent myself from falling down any of the paths that parents are so scared of their children getting into.

Once I first went to college I became friends with several individuals, the first being a person who I had quite a bit in common with and who after an eventual trip to a gas station for snacks and slurpee’s, offered me a cigar he had purchased while we were there. I was of course defiant, made a retort about his choices, and firmly refused. But like most friends do he tried to open me up to the concept and use peer pressure. But I didn’t give in, and thus he went to smoke his cigar illegally out on the stairs leading to our dorm.

The second individual that I became friends with was quite a bit different, and due to certain events that transpired, he became very influential and actually had a degree of control over me. We shared similar beliefs about a lot of things, including my take on smoking, however at some point he stated some positive things about cigars, and though he never actually tried to get me to smoke, he did try to change my stance on them.

The issue is that even though I refused to have my stances changed, I did begin to have visions while dreaming, and thoughts while awake about what would have happened if I had done such a thing, and thus I had a plethora of thoughts that related to all the possibilities that could have erupted from such a choice. This lead to what I call “a mental addiction to the concept of smoking cigars”. I call it this because I have never had a desire to smoke the cigars, but I have learned everything about them, and at least once or twice a week, I suddenly have the desire to plunge myself into further research regarding them. I sought help from the cigar community by sending a few emails out to places such as cigar aficionado to see if they had heard of anything like this, but I never got a response, and so I continued my research.

I don’t know what’s wrong, and so I’m asking you the community of all flocks of status, ideas, ages, and beliefs, if any of you happen to have some insight into this most particular issue (such as why it’s happening, how, what to do, and etc) so that I can finally resolve this.

In regards to the people that will undoubtedly try to convert me, I’m not capable of really formulating many defenses against this particular issue at the moment, and so unless you feel your decisions are the best choice, I’d much prefer you use insight instead of pressure to assist me.

Thank you most kindly,

- Del.

P.S.

This is a very important issue for me, and I’m not one to really ever ask questions of anyone, (especially not on sites like these, as I’ve always been the one doing the answering in my life) however this is a rare time for me, and so I would be very grateful if people treated this as serious, and didn’t involve immature replies.
This has been going on for the past 6 months, and in case anyone wondered, the two people previously mentioned have had no further contact with me in this period of time, due to trust issues, violations of my trust, and some betrayals that occurred.
This has been going on for the past 6 months, and in case anyone wondered, the two people previously mentioned have had no further contact with me in this period of time, due to trust issues, violations of my trust, and some betrayals that occurred.
I can’t believe I double posted a detail <_<.
Perhaps I should settle some of the very weird replies.

First off, I’m not a homosexual, and I don’t have “oral” fixations.

Second off, I’ve got a lot of experience and research in counseling, psychiatry, and psychology, and I can safely say this isn’t the type of thing you get over by getting counseled, aside from hypnotism maybe.

So far, even though I got more responses than on any of the other categories, I don’t see any real reasonable answers.

And in response to the person thinking I’m firm against it, I’m firm against a lot of things, and used to be against this, unfortunately at this exact moment as well as for many months, I haven’t been able to remain firm against it, because of my unusual fixation with it.
Perhaps I haven’t been clear, but what I want to know, is why this is happening, and what I should do about it, how, and etc.
How do I get more answers? Heh…
Looking like I may need to repost this question. No real way to get more answers after this period of time.