An unusual situation and question concerning Cigars.?
This would be the third post, because the categories are so poorly done that I can never find any of the answers I want, because for some reason what I consider culture isn’t, and what I consider health, isn’t. So oh well. I reluctantly post this in this section, because I don’t drink, and probably never well (hopefully), but it seems this is the best section for a question like this, so here’s hoping.
Hello everyone,
I have a serious issue (requires a bit of reading), but for you to understand the issue as well as I hope, I’ll need to clarify what the particulars in regards to this situation are, and so I will.
First off, for my entire life I’ve been firmly against smoking, due to my father nearly dying from a heart attack due to smoking when I was very young, and my grandfather smoking all the time and dying of emphysema , and also the fact that about 90% of my relatives are dead now due to confirmed death from lung cancer, heart cancer, and smoke accumulation.
This also means I became what most would consider an “anti-smoking Nazi” and truthfully I was as such, even had my fair share of converting others into non smokers of a variety of types. However I always knew the facts about smoking, due to personal and very excessive research, that happens to be a trait of mine.
Now, my entire educational life, until I hit college, was filled with people doing all sorts of illegal and bad things around or towards me, and so I was able to ignore these, and successfully prevent myself from falling down any of the paths that parents are so scared of their children getting into.
Once I first went to college I became friends with several individuals, the first being a person who I had quite a bit in common with and who after an eventual trip to a gas station for snacks and slurpee’s, offered me a cigar he had purchased while we were there. I was of course defiant, made a retort about his choices, and firmly refused. But like most friends do he tried to open me up to the concept and use peer pressure. But I didn’t give in, and thus he went to smoke his cigar illegally out on the stairs leading to our dorm.
The second individual that I became friends with was quite a bit different, and due to certain events that transpired, he became very influential and actually had a degree of control over me. We shared similar beliefs about a lot of things, including my take on smoking, however at some point he stated some positive things about cigars, and though he never actually tried to get me to smoke, he did try to change my stance on them.
The issue is that even though I refused to have my stances changed, I did begin to have visions while dreaming, and thoughts while awake about what would have happened if I had done such a thing, and thus I had a plethora of thoughts that related to all the possibilities that could have erupted from such a choice. This lead to what I call “a mental addiction to the concept of smoking cigars”. I call it this because I have never had a desire to smoke the cigars, but I have learned everything about them, and at least once or twice a week, I suddenly have the desire to plunge myself into further research regarding them. I sought help from the cigar community by sending a few emails out to places such as cigar aficionado to see if they had heard of anything like this, but I never got a response, and so I continued my research.
I don’t know what’s wrong, and so I’m asking you the community of all flocks of status, ideas, ages, and beliefs, if any of you happen to have some insight into this most particular issue (such as why it’s happening, how, what to do, and etc) so that I can finally resolve this.
In regards to the people that will undoubtedly try to convert me, I’m not capable of really formulating many defenses against this particular issue at the moment, and so unless you feel your decisions are the best choice, I’d much prefer you use insight instead of pressure to assist me.
Thank you most kindly,
- Del.
P.S.
This is a very important issue for me, and I’m not one to really ever ask questions of anyone, (especially not on sites like these, as I’ve always been the one doing the answering in my life) however this is a rare time for me, and so I would be very grateful if people treated this as serious, and didn’t involve immature replies.
This has been going on for the past 6 months, and in case anyone wondered, the two people previously mentioned have had no further contact with me in this period of time, due to trust issues, violations of my trust, and some betrayals that occurred.
This has been going on for the past 6 months, and in case anyone wondered, the two people previously mentioned have had no further contact with me in this period of time, due to trust issues, violations of my trust, and some betrayals that occurred.
I can’t believe I double posted a detail <_<.
Perhaps I should settle some of the very weird replies.
First off, I’m not a homosexual, and I don’t have “oral” fixations.
Second off, I’ve got a lot of experience and research in counseling, psychiatry, and psychology, and I can safely say this isn’t the type of thing you get over by getting counseled, aside from hypnotism maybe.
So far, even though I got more responses than on any of the other categories, I don’t see any real reasonable answers.
And in response to the person thinking I’m firm against it, I’m firm against a lot of things, and used to be against this, unfortunately at this exact moment as well as for many months, I haven’t been able to remain firm against it, because of my unusual fixation with it.
Perhaps I haven’t been clear, but what I want to know, is why this is happening, and what I should do about it, how, and etc.
How do I get more answers? Heh…
Looking like I may need to repost this question. No real way to get more answers after this period of time.
too much writing…
and im too lazy
2 POINTS!
XD
This is what I was like before I started smoking pot. I was convinced that I did not want to ever smoke it, but I wanted to learn everything I could about it. Well eventually, I did try it (I am not sorry I did either). If you really want to stay away from smoking cigars then stick to your guns, otherwise you just may try it some day and like it and not want to stop. In moderation it would not be horrible for you. There are worse things. But if you are as against it as you sound then just don’t start.
you may be gay, you have an oral fixation metabolizing in your dreams, you’ve heard of monica lewinski? go and blow and the dreams will go away
ok, it’s weird, I will give you that. You should see an actual counselor rather than hoping for insight on YA! Sounds like some kind of obsessive compulsive disorder, but I have no real life experience to base my diagnosis on.
I would never suggest trying to smoke to get over it, but smoking is not so addictive that if you tried it once you would be hooked for life. And some very fine people have tried smoking and survived with no side effects, so going through a smoking phase is not a death sentence or anything to become a smoking nazi about.
First, don’t worry! I’m no student of psychology, but I’d say that you suffer from just the sort of endless curiosity that makes the human brain so unique. I’ve felt possessed by a topic before — cigars, CB radios, cameras, etc. — and likewise researched them in length and depth. The cure, insofar as you suffer from any “addiction,” may be as simple as coming to terms with your stance on cigars: ignore peoples’ attempts to encourage you to smoke, state your principles, and order your life as you see fit. You must be aware of the time that you spend researching cigars or other topics — if your research interferes with your job, school, or other activities — find another interest or seek professional help.
Well I’m against smoking 4 personal reasons but my advice to you would be to just try it. To put ur mind at ease. Don’t tell anyone just get a cigar ( I think it was ) & take a few hits. Again I DONT SMOKE, but if I were to start dreaming of it I might feel the need to put it to rest. Hope I helped!
If I had to guess why it’s happening now, I would say it is because you have so intently avoided the topic of smoking your entire life. Taking a more open stance toward the subject through less criticism may actually help lessen your curiosity toward the subject and let you move beyond this fixation on cigars. By maintaining your very intense taboo on smoking, you might actually be piquing your own desire to try it.
That said, it probably wouldn’t hurt for you to take a puff off a cigar. Chances are with your anti-smoking background, you won’t enjoy it and will be able to continue on without the constant pangs of curiosity. You established yourself fairly well as not compromising on this point, but if you find yourself open to it in the future, you may want to try it.
I had a fairly similar experience when starting college regarding smoking as well, but have become significantly more open-minded about the subject and have learned to keep my criticisms to myself every now and again. Trying everything at least once has allowed me to be able to say that I personally do not enjoy many types of smoking, but can see why some people might.
I know that neither of my answers fit particularly well with your situation, but I hope that I’ve shed some light on why you might be feeling the way that you do.
well i think youre putting way too much thought into these things, things change in life and youre starting to realize maybe all the bull-stuff everyone has pushed on you while you were a kid might not be what you really think… ie this happens alot with “religious” kids
im not saying trying im not saying dont but…
if you do decide to try a cigar, go to your local tabacoo shop and ask them to suggest one for you… DO NOT, DO NOT, DO NOT get one at a gas station… if youre gonna do it you might as well try something that might actually be good and not taste like burning dirt…
peer pressure sucks dude, stay true to yourself but also try new things/experiences its the only way to grow